![]() I do think, however, parents and schools can and should do more to educate boys and men to stop objectifying the female body. We can’t follow our girls everywhere they go and tell people to look away, though some of us might want to. On the interpersonal level, confronting those who sexualize our daughters is also not easy, especially when there is such a pervasive “boys and men can’t help it” attitude. But this kind of fighting back doesn’t really help parents in the morning when their daughter comes downstairs wearing something that barely covers her backside. ![]() Being more mindful of the sneaky ways marketers sell the notion that girls’ only value is in their sexiness makes your daughter a more savvy consumer. It might be fun to make a project with your daughter of “I spy sexualization!” the next time you go to the mall together. Parents and girls have successfully campaigned against marketers who sexualize egregiously, and I would strongly encourage letter writing, “calling out” on social media venues, and even “girlcotting” whenever and wherever you see fit. Tackling the cultural-level sexualization of girls is a big job. Girls self-sexualize, in other words, because they see all around them that this is the way to be a popular, successful female. And this message is coming right at the time (tween and teen years) when young people’s self-esteem is tied more strongly to their mirror image than at any other point in life. The message is that females manipulate with their appearance. Why shouldn’t they want to? Those are the clothes all their pop culture icons are wearing.Īnd self-sexualization is even sold to girls as a source of power! If what you wear “makes the boys drool” then you’re more popular. And these seem, increasingly, to be exactly the clothes that make us worried. ![]() Recent cases in the news warn, even more menacingly, that grown men must be protected from girls’ bodies, as teens are sent home from dances if they’re wearing dresses deemed “too short.” Apparently in one case, the fathers chaperoning a dance claimed a girl was causing “impure thoughts” in the boys, and she was sent home. It’s common for schools to justify their dress codes for girls with a warning that micro-shorts and fitted deep v-neck shirts distract boys, as though it’s girls’ flesh that keeps boys from being able to concentrate. ![]() Absurdly, society doesn’t seem to question that this is just what boys and men do. One mom described her extreme discomfort when grown men give her young, developing daughter’s body the “up and down” with their eyes. Girls are sexualized by their peers and by adults. When we walk into the mall, we see this source all around us: the micro-mini dresses and tube skirts, the low cut shirts and the padded bikini tops for 7 to 9 year olds, the advertising that sells us these clothes, and often the shops themselves (adult stores “downsized” for younger and younger clientele such as Abercrombie Kids) all sexualize our daughters. And the concerns raised by parents regarding their daughters’ clothing choices actually illustrate all three. In our APA Task Force report on the sexualization of girls we detailed three sources of sexualization. Too sexy? Not appropriate? What can be done to help our girls dress in a way that makes them feel good and doesn’t turn them into sexy objects? One nearly daily battle is around clothes. Moms and Dads have to constantly confront issues that arise from their daughters’ bodies maturing in a society that seems to sexualize them more and more. By Tomi-Ann Roberts, PhD (Professor of Psychology, Colorado College )
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